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Husband n Wife

When a married man says:
"I'll think about it" ,
What he really means that,
He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet…

Wife: Why in wedding Ceremony girl sits on left and boy on right?
Husband: Because according to profit & loss A/C all incomes are on right side and expenses on left side.

LOVE IS LIFE
LIFE IS WIFE
WIFE IS KNIFE

and
KNIFE IS DANGEROUS

A man's dream:
7 Digit bank balance
6 Digit salary
5 Room house
4 Wheel vehicle
3 Week's holiday
2 Lovely girlfriends &
1 'Silent' wife.

Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night
and suddenly shouts: "Up! Quick! My husband is back!"

Man gets up, jumps out of the window,
hurts himself, and then realizes: "Damn, I am the husband!"

A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it.

How to create the biggest doubt in your wife's mind for you?
Send her an SMS out of the blue saying,

"Honey, I love you, too!"
GAME OVER!

Some people can't decide - whether weekdays are hectic or weekends. These people are called married men!

LISTEN and SILENT are two words having the same Alphabets.
Amazingly both are meant for Husbands!

Two soldiers were having a chat during their free time.
1st Soldier: Why did you join the army?
2nd Soldier: I didn't have a wife and I loved war. So I joined. How about you? Why did you join the army?
1st Soldier: I joined because I had a wife and I loved peace!

Alcohol is the worst thing in the world.
My friend had a lot last night and ended up saying - "I love you" to his own wife!

You're talking of Twitter and SMS;
Even in my real life, my communication to my wife is limited to 140 characters only.

The government should make it mandatory to print a "Statutory Warning" on Wedding Cards like on Cigarette packets that:
Marriage may be injurious to Wealth!

Thinking on toes:
When mom asks, "Whom do you love more, me or your wife". Smart answer: I don't know Mom, but your love makes me forget my Wife; and her love and care reminds me of you".

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