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Husband n Wife

A man went to the marriage bureau to reserve wedding date...
Office was closed and he read the following Notice outside the office ...
"Office closed between 1 pm and 3 pm... you may use this time to think again"

A couple were arguing.
Wife: You don’t like anybody in my family.
Husband: Not true, I like your mother-in-law better than my mother-in-law!

Boys have fun by teasing girls then girls cry for a few minutes;
And girls have fun by loving boys then boys cry for a lifetime!

How was the word WIFE invented?
They took the first two and the last two letters of WILDLIFE and got WIFE!

A lot of husbands are interested in politics. In fact, many of them are already the minority leader in the house!

I'm not saying my wife's voice is annoying, but right now... I'm really jealous of deaf people!

Husband: Another new dress? Where do you think I'm going to get the money from to pay for it?
Wife: That's your business. I didn't marry you to give you financial consultation!

A doctor got a call from a woman, "My husband just swallowed the aspirins, what shall I do?"
The doctor replied, "Give him a headache, what else?"

Nurse (in mental home): A man called. He wants to know if we've lost any male patients.
Resident Doctor: Why?
Nurse: He says someone has run off with his wife!

A Happiest man is one; 
Whose daughter is on Femina's cover;
Son on India Today;
Girlfriend on Playboy;
And;
Wife in the missing column of a newspaper

Laughing at your own mistakes can lengthen your life;
But laughing at your wife's mistakes can shorten your life!

Marriage counsellor: Why did you hit your wife with a chair?
Husband: I couldn't lift the table.

Once a man asked God, "Why all girls are so sweet and all wives are horrible and bitter?"
God answered, "Because girls are made by me but wives are made by you"!

Want to surprise your girlfriend?
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Introduce her to your wife

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