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Funny Jokes

Crazy Heights MUST READ 
Laziness? Asking lift for morning walk.
Craziness? Get blank paper xerox.
Hope? A 99 yr. old woman going for 295/-recharge 
to get lifetime incoming.
Stupidity? Looking through key hole of a glass door.
Suicide attempt? A dwarf jumps from the footpath on the road.

Eight Secrets Of Success You Can Find In Your Room..!
..
1. Roof Says – Aim High:
2. Fan Says – Be Cool:
3. Clock Says – Every Min Is Precious:
4. Mirror Says – Reflect Before You Act:
5. Window Says – See The World:
6. Calendar Says – Be Up To Date:
7. Door Says – Don’t Miss The Opportunity
..
8. Bed Says – Don't Waste Time, Go to sleep..!!!

What is the girl who is not married and is standing below known as ??
Let me tell you
–
–
She is known as
Miss-Under-Standing.

Dear EGNSLIH TECAEHR, 
as lnog as the fsrit & lsat lteter r in the rhgit palce, 
u can siltl raed tihs msg. 

So slpelnig correctly is not taht ipmrontat!

Your ‘EGO’ can ruin any relationship… 

so have a bigger heart, 
skip the ‘E’ 
and let it ‘GO’

God made us body parts for a reason.
EYES: to look at you
HANDS: to touch you
MIND: to think of you
HEART: to love you
and…
LEGS: to kick you, if you ever forget me!

Definition of TIME!

Slow, when you wait!
Fast, when you are Late!
Deadly, when you are Sad!
Short, when you are happy!
Endless, when you are in Pain!
Long, when you feel Bore!

Roses are red. 
Your blood is too. 
You look like a monkey 
And belong in a zoo...

Man to doctor: Is there any medicine for long life?
Doctor: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Doctor: No, but it will help you, to avoid such a long life thoughts.

Husband: can you be the moon of my Life?
Wife: Awww Yes sweetheart..!
.
Husband: Great! Then….
Stay 9,955,887.6 kms away from Me..!!

Manager: Sorry, but I can’t give you a job. 
I don’t need much help.

Job Applicant: That’s all right.
In fact I’m just the right person in this case.

You will see, I won’t give that much help anyway!!

Dear January, 

How are February and March. 
April is not bad. 
Tell May, June and July that 
August, September and October 
got Accident in november. 

Yours December.

We know each other for a quite while now, 
do you think we can be more than FRIENDS? 

Will you be my PARTNER to rob a BANK !?

A Woman met a Man walking
 along the streets wearing only one shoe.

She asked: "Just Lost A Shoe?
He answered: "Nope, Just Found One"

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