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Funny Jokes

A student wrote a letter to his father from hostel: 

Dear dad…! No money,No fun. Your son! 

His father replied: Dear son! So sad,Very bad Your dad!

Police arrested a drunkard & asked: 
Where are you going? 

Man: I’m going to listen lecture on 
ill effects of drinking. 

Cop: Who’ll lecture at midnight ?? 

Man: My wife…

Several women appeared in court, 
each accusing the other of the trouble 
in the flat where they lived. 
The judge called for orderly testimony. 
"I'll hear the oldest first," 
he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.

A boy came running in the kitchen.
Boy: Dad, There is an ugly monster at the door.
Dad(Looking at his wife): Tell him we have already got one!

Hi,
Doing nothing?
Then make a place, For Me in your heart!!
I may come there any time!
Yours faithfully,
Heart Attack

Manager:
Sorry, but I can't give you a job.
I don't need much help.

Job Applicant: That's all right.
In fact I'm just the right person in this case.
You will see, I won't be of much help anyway!!

GOLU: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don’t know how she got my number,
She interrupts whenever I call someone
and says “Please Recharge Your Card”

A student was asked to write
a signboard for the traffic rules
near the college campus

He wrote:-

"Drive Carefully!
Don't kill the students,
wait for the Teachers"

My eyes detected
My heart reacted
Thousand were rejected &
Only you were selected.
.
.
Because I needed a monkey
for an advertisement.

Today Is MMS Day
MMS Means--- Make Monkeys Smile
I Did My Job
Now It’s your Turn
Send It To All your Monkey Friends
Stop Jumping
Start Sending

When I want to fall in love with my books….
My bed falls in love with me….
And I believe that,
love the one who loves you…

Do you remember the day we traveled in a car?
I put my dog out of the window,
you put your face out,
then people started shouting
‘TWINS TWINS’

“CONGRATS” You have been awarded an M.B.A degree
For not messaging me.
MBA means 
‘Member of Beggar Association’
Kindly forward it to all M.B.A’s.

Have you seen a monkey wrapped in plastic?

No???

Quickly see your driving license.

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