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Husband n Wife

Wife: If you keep losing your hair at this speed, I shall divorce you.
Husband: Oh my God! And I was stupid enough trying to save them!

Wife: Honey, before we got married, you used to give me gifts and expensive jewelry.
Husband: Yes... so?
Wife: How come you don't do it anymore?
Husband: Have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to the fish after catching it!

Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.

Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.

Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second

Judge: How can you prove
you were not speeding your car?

Man: Sir, I was on the way to
bring back my wife from her mother's home!

Judge: that's all, case dismissed

A successful man is one
who makes more money
than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one
who can find such a man.

Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

Wife: What is so interesting in me?

Husband: I don't know the meaning of interesting!!!

All Husbands are like Bluetooth;
Always connected when wife is around;
But;
The moment wife is away;
They automatically start searching for the new Devices.

As per research
A man speaks 25,000 words daily
&
A woman speaks 30,000
Problem starts when husband comes home
from office after consuming his 25,000 words
&
wife starts her 30,000..

If women are always right, how come so many of them end up picking the wrong man?

Wife: I am not talking to you.
Hubby: Okay!
Wife: You don't want to know the reason?
Hubby: Nope, I trust your judgment!

The human body has over a million nerves.
And only the wife knows how to get on every single one of them!

Some women are so concerned about their husband's happiness that they hire a private detective to find out as to who is responsible for it!

The 4 dangerous weapons in the world:
1. Wife's Smile
2. Wife's Tears
3. Wife's Looks
And the 4th most dangerous is Wife's Missed Call!

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