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Husband n Wife

Q: Why did the married man sell his complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica? A: He didn't need them any longer his  wife knows everything.

If your dog was barking at the back door and your wife was knocking on the front door, who would you let in first?  The dog – at least he would shut up once he was in.

Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!

Question: What is the most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday?
Ans. Just forget it once and you will never forget it again.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman - before and after marriage.

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day? simple it is just a formality like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!!

Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

Husband: Everytime I hit you, you never fight back. How do you manage your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet seat... Husband: How does it help Wife: I use your toothbrush!

Q: What are the three rings of marriage? A: The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.

Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.

Two men are discussing their lives.  One says, "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."

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