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Funny Jokes

What do u call a woman in heaven? - An Angel. 
A crowd of women in heaven? - A host of Angels. 
And all women in heaven? - PEACE ON EARTH!

Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that

Man shows his marriage certificate
.
.
.
Chemist: Oh! sorry,
I didn’t know you had a prescription.

Ladies hostel caught Fire. It took 1 hour to bring the Fire under control & another 3 hrs to bring the Firemen under control.

Positive thinking is like…..
You are standing on the middle of the road………
&
suddenly a crow beats on your head….
But you remain calm…
and thank to God…
that cows don't fly:)

 Beautiful flowers die….
Nice stories end……
Lovely songs fade…….. ..
Memories are forgotten… ..
All things come to end…..
But people like YOU always remain forever
.
BECAUSE GHOSTS NEVER DIE.

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket Please! 
Saint: I don't have. 
Ticket checker: Where do you want to go? 
Saint: Lord Ram's birth place, Ayodhya! 
Ticket checker: Come, lets go! 
Saint: Where? 
Ticket checker: Lord Krishna'a birth place, Jail.

God thought that since
he couldn't be everywhere
he made a mother.


Then devil thought that
he couldn't be everywhere
he made a mother-in-law.

What will happen if you throw an 
AMPLIFIER into the sea?

TSUNAMI will be created
since an amplifier converts
small waves into bigger waves.

The shortest relationship ever is between
Students & Books . . .
They commit one day before exam
& After exams
BREAK UP!

31st March Or 1st April:

Fool is Fool does not matter.

Wishing very happy, prosperous & joyful

Fool Day to the King of Foolssss..

You are the most CUTE person in the world!
Just a second, don’t misunderstand.
.
CUTE means:

Creating
Useless
Troubles
Everywhere.

Pappu: I don't think I deserved zero in this test.
Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!

God made a daylight and it is called Sun.
God made an entertainment and it is called Fun.
God made a nightlight and it is called Moon.
God made a YOU and it is
called Cartoon.

If today anyone talks & admires you for your

-good looks
-nature
-style
-attitude,

Kick him/her off.
How dare he/she make you fool.

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