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Husband n Wife

Wife: Wait for me honey, I’m just finishing my make-up.

Husband: You don’t need make-up dear!.

Wife: Oh. really? That is so sweet of you! 

Husband: You need plastic surgery.

A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?”
 
The husband: “Are you mad? I barely know the woman!”

The key to every relationship is honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. ...Gonna keep typing this until she stops looking over my shoulder.

If a wife is silent and not arguing – it means she's sleeping.

Wife: I look fat. Can you give me a compliment? 
Husband: You have perfect eyesight.

Wife : Darling, this computer is not working, as per my command..... 
Husband : Dear! it's a computer, not your hubby....!!!!

Man to friend  : “I saw my Wife going
to a movie with a strange Man.”
Friend : “Did you follow them inside?”
“No,” replied a Man
“I had already SEEN the Movie !”

Here Is Some Career Advice
First, Listen To Your Heart
Then
Listen To Your Brains
Then
Do What Your Wife Tells You To Do . . . ;

Women are like Internet Virus:
First they enter your life
scan your pockets 
transfer money 
edit your mind 
download their problems 
delete your smile 
and finally hang your life.

Wife said : I will die,
Husband replied: I will also die,
Wife again : why will you die?
Husband said : because i can't bear the excitement when you die….

A successful marriage is based On give and take….
Where husband gives money, Gifts, dresses and wife takes it,
And
Where wife gives advises, lectures, Tensions and husband takes it....

Math and Wives are, most complicated things, to understand...
But
Math at least got some logic...

Position of a Husband
Is just like a Split AC…
No matter however Loud he is Outdoor,
He is designed to remain Silent Indoor.

One Philosopher Said:
Every Wife Is A
~Misstress~
Of Her Husband.
‘~Miss~’
For One Year
And
‘~Stress~’
For Rest Of The Life..!!

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